Teachable Moments: Honor Yourself Always
Friends! Healing is happening here. It is incredible and scary and amazing and a bit of a rollercoaster at times. But. IT. IS. HAPPENING. I see it every day in every teachable moment and I am amazed each time I witness it.
Last week I had a couple of those big time lesson learning moments where I was triggered hardcore, experienced my emotions, and then moved through them at so much of a faster pace.
These were things that in the past would’ve set me off for weeks. Things that I would’ve tried to heal by going on a new food plan or doing a detox or hiding until I felt somewhat okay again.
It shows great strides that I didn’t do that. That instead I just made even more of a declaration to myself that I should feel good about me. That I should never let a number or what someone else says decide how I am going to live my life, feel about myself, and what I can and cannot do.
I am in charge of me. No one else. And boy does that kind of self control feel good. Way better than trying to control myself through a diet in order to lose something. No, this time I owned myself. This time I saw my acceptance and feeling good work do it’s magic. And the fact that it took a couple of days is amazing to me. Because like I said in the past it wouldn’t have even happened.
I am proud of my progress and I won’t let anyone take that away from me either. I know where I was, I know how far I have come, I know myself.
I also know that being proud of my progress does not mean I won’t continue to progress. It means the opposite. It means I see first hand what choosing to face myself, choosing to always become more aware, choosing to grow, choosing to learn more, choosing to little by little drop my defenses, is doing for me. It works. It is real. And I will always step up to the challenge of doing what it takes to continue to become my best self.
In the past I have been in situations where people would get frustrated that I wasn’t healing as fast as they wanted me to. I was healing for sure. I was making steps instead of leaps. In many ways this is a blessing because it has pushed me to become the leap taker that I am. But what I’ve realized, is that when you find yourself in a situation where someone else's opinions of where you should be is affecting you to feel badly about yourself, brush that shit off. Almost every time it has nothing to do with you personally and everything to do with whatever it triggers in them.
It took a long time for me to realize that.
I have physically injured myself before because a yoga teacher wanted me to be in a place that I wasn’t. Could not comprehend why I was incapable of doing certain things. And being this was before I had any real knowledge of what was going on in my body, well I couldn’t comprehend it either. I was a complete people pleaser and didn't trust myself so I thought there was something wrong with me. That I was doing something bad. That I wasn’t working hard enough. Yet every time I went to a class with a different teacher they would tell me to soften. Soften? But I need more strength! I need to muscle through! I need to get up in a handstand like my life depends on it!
No. I didn’t. I needed to soften and listen to those who removed their own ego from their teaching. I needed to listen and honor my body because what was really happening was my body is different than your body and her body and everyone’s body. We are all different. And while I appreciate motivation and the ask to move past my comfort zone, not honoring my body not honoring myself is different and dangerous.
Always always be open to moving past your comfort zone, but never never do something or shame yourself because someone else says so. Do things because it’s important to you. And if the feedback you are getting is real, honor that more than what the other person is telling you.
I am grateful for these teachings. For the triggers and the validation that I am leaps and bounds from where I once was. The layers are peeling. I am healing. I am step by step becoming a happier healthier more conscious person.
Step by step I am allowing myself to turn back around every time I find myself running away from living in the joy. To chase the good feeling and thank my old ways of protecting myself through self sabotage.
I thank it no matter how much it has been an annoyance in my life, because it has and continues to teach me, which in turn truly causes me to no longer need it.
I choose to embrace the whole of me. To honor myself where I am. And to commit to always working to do and be better. To listen when people trigger me and trust that I will know what to filter. What is true and what is not mine. What I need to work on and what the other person is projecting.
Dear friends I encourage you to do the same. Listen more to your own intuition and delight in the lessons the Universe is sending you. Even and especially if they are lessons you would rather not have to learn. You will always always be better and stronger and more present and happier for it.
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All my love and support always.