Healing Through Sharing
It has been a full week since the Refinery29 article went live and I exposed myself and body to the world. I am still trying to wrap my brain and emotions around the insanely incredible response to it. So, bare with me if I ramble or if this ends up being not as coherent as usual.
I started blogging weekly around five months ago and the thing that has always kept me going, even when I hate what I write, have no idea what to write about, or just don’t want to do it, is the power of healing that sharing one’s story gives.
Healing through sharing is the real deal. I’ve always known this.
As a teen and in my early twenties--pre learning boundaries and appropriate social skills--it would get me into trouble. I felt the need to tell every person I came across my entire history within five minutes of meeting them. In all honesty that was way less about healing through sharing and more about needing validation, attention, and trying to find someone to be able to relate to. Regardless, those cringe worthy moments taught me that when you do find someone who can relate--what happens next is so powerful for all parties involved.
Being human can be the most isolating thing in the world. I get that and know it deeply. But a crazy thing starts to happen when you start opening your mouth and letting people know you and your life. And even better when you give space for the other person you are speaking with to respond and share. You start to realize that not only is no one alone, but so many, so many many many many people are dealing with the exact issue you thought was unique to you.
For me this was both a blessing and a bummer. As I’ve spoken about million times before, I identified myself by my problems. It was the only way I knew who I was. Learning that I wasn’t unique and my “crazy fucked up” problems were the same as most people, was a bit of a mindfuck. It also made me a much better person and was maybe the biggest pathway to my authentic self. A self I am still getting to know (aren’t we all?).
I don’t believe in secrets, but I do believe in boundaries. Learning boundaries was just as, if not more, important than learning that I wasn’t alone or as crazy as I had been telling people I was.
It is important to know your audience, know who you can share with and when, know when saying what is on your mind is going to be more harmful than helpful. It is also important to know when you find someone you can relate to--whether you are building a relationship based on wounds or deep healing.
All of the above are imperative lessons and tools to learn. But they are tools and lessons that can only really be learned through openness and willingness to speak your truth. You have no idea how much you miss out on by hiding.
For me, surface level is boring and painful. If I don’t feel comfortable enough with someone to be able to show my true self. And let me clarify that my wounds are only about 5% of my true self. But If I can’t go from talking about periods and poop to meditation and my latest psychic reading to Jenny Slate and Chris Evans dating to my depression and anxiety-- I can only get so close and will only spend so much time and energy on the relationship.
This tends to cause me to have a really small group of close friends who are often scattered around the country and many don’t even know each other. Lemme tell you, those friends, and the times we get to see each other are the BEST friends and the BEST times.
This is not to say I don’t have some great acquaintances. But there is nothing like a solid friendship where nothing is off the table. And there is no way to know if nothing is off the table without opening your soul and pouring it out to be seen.
Exposure is hard. Even for me, someone who has overshared her whole life. And I will admit that in many ways the topics I chose to overshare about, often the darkest parts of me, were another way of hiding. I hid behind my wounds as much as I hid behind my weight.
Despite that, I am so grateful for that quality of myself that I once hated, because it brought me here.
It allowed me to get to a point where what I was sharing was no longer hiding, but truly a means to heal and help others heal. It allowed me to be strong enough to face my fears and expose myself in ways that in the past would have sent me into a hospital.
Most importantly it gave me a platform to reach out to all of you and everyone who read my Refinery29 article and viewed those images and sought me out because finally someone spoke their story and proved that they were not alone.
When I look at the comment section on all of the platforms where the article was promoted, it makes me cry. Not just for me, but for every beautiful soul who said fuck it, I am sharing too.
I think about all of the people who are now not only reading my story but all of the others and really being able to see, wow me too, thank God there are other people who get it.
My problems are not unique and boy, if I didn’t know that before, I sure know that now. I could not be more grateful or feel more blessed for it.
Healing through sharing is no joke. And if you don’t believe me take a second to look at those comment sections.
You are not alone my friends. I can promise you that.
I challenge you to share your truth today. In some way, even small, share a piece of yourself and see what happens. I bet it will be beautiful and if not then fuck em and keep trying because holy shit, the things that happen when you do; otherworldly, incredible, amazing, touching, and so so so so so healing.
If you haven't had the chance to check out the article: Click Here
Sending you all of my love and support ALWAYS ALWAYS!